Porn Star or Rock Star

tough choice.. I think porn...

back to Seattle

What a place.. what a place. So I am a transplant.. people here are such contradictions of each other. I have lived in a few big cities. I have never lived in a place like this, where people are so chill yet, they work so hard and are totally achievers.. what a cool vibe. I can't think of anywhere else that I would want to be.

However, customer service here SUX. must be because people can make $20 getting out of bed... so there is a reason they are making minimum wage.

The funny thing too.. is that the coffee is really shitty.. who likes Starbucks? BARF.. Tullys is pretty good. but that is really it. Microsoft.. what a great place.. but everyone that I know that works there, likes Apple better.. huh.. funny. I bought the stock anyway... I am going to look at other blogs and see what else is out there. Maybe catch some VH1 that show with Bret Michaels of Poison.. such good tv. I recommend it.

Well I decided that I am going to use this as a diary. It is weird, I have always kept a mental diary.. so I am going to put things down in words. I had an interesting thing happen just recently.. I realized that perhaps my family is a screwed up as I thought. I have a hard time with them,.. I have always felt like the outsider, yet that my family was my basis for my moral core and the "good" that I had in me. Yet now I look and listen to them and I think... where does this goodnes come from. Why are they so confusing and what is going on in there head. I recently returned from a family vacation and thinking it would be nice to see them all, I realized that I felt just as I have always felt that I am the outsider... that I am essentially all by myself. I had always thought that the people that would most understand my longing to blast music in my car while smoking would be my family that I don't see very often, but I was wrong. It isn't them... where does this come from? I know that I am not adopted as I look just like them, and my sister and I could share dental records...

Does anyone else get joy from singing along to bad music, laughing at other people just for being people and feel like screaming at the top of their lungs? What kind of rambling is this?

Don't get me wrong... they yell. they enjoy the moments in life... I can think of many times.. great times..

Singing to Alanis Morrisette.. you live you learn. laughing at people for being people. like our neighbor that would come by to jog..

This likely makes no sense to anyone else that would read this..

I guess I am one of those people who has a million friends and can be in a crowded room feeling all alone..

I look really good on paper, I have tons of friends, and I am pretty good looking but yet... it is just me... just me.. always has been..

how great is umbrella by Rihanna.. weird taht I like her.. I am 30.

What the hell- Seattle

So this is my new Blog---> I am glad that I can start to track my thoughts.. I need this. Good thing these are on line.

now suddenly that I have a place to put things.. I have nothing to say..